2016 NFL Draft Live Blog
It's finally NFL Draft time again, easily my favorite date on the NFL calendar. And I know I'm not alone in that feeling.
As usual, the Draft Sharks crew has abandoned families and gathered at a fancy cabin on Skaneateles Lake in upstate New York for what we tell our wives are a few days of important team building. And that's not a lie.
When you collaborate on fantasy football advice for a living, drinking beer, talking football and watching the draft -- and dabbling in some Wiffle ball -- is good for the team.
We're down a team member from last year's maiden voyage of this Round 1 live blog, as our pal Jason Phelps is back home with a brand new daughter. Three of the 5 here have kids -- and daughters -- so we know how special that time is and wish him and his family the best.
But someone has to soldier on here through a steak dinner and fridge full of beer. So here's the crew working with me ...
Jared Smola: If you don't know this guy, then you're brand-freakin'-new to Draft Sharks. (Welcome!) Smola co-hosts the podcast with me and has been keeping things running at DS since before he needed to shave.
Kevin English: "Kevdog" has also been rockin' the DS scene since before I arrived and before he finished college. He's significantly more pensive than I am ... fortunately ... for all of us.
Andy Collier: Andy keeps the conversation going like no one else here, and he'll provide the humor when his Giants pick -- whether he likes the selection or doesn't. Also, if you're a DS Insider and have emailed us with any questions over the past 2 seasons, then he has helped you out.
Lenny Pappano: The Godfather is the one who has made all of this possible. He started DraftSharks.com back in 1999, when fantasy football was a goofy thing that only nerds played. And he's the guy supplying the cabin, the steaks and the reruns of the '70s-as-hell shows that we watched last night. (I'm looking at you, "Bionic Woman.")
Me? You'll be getting to know me a little better throughout the night, mostly through bad jokes. But that's how my kids know me, too. Just keep in mind that I've spent the past 2 days drinking beer from a wine goblet, and read my words through that prism.
We're working with ESPN only at this setting, so no Rich Eisen, Mike Mayock or any of the NFL Network crew that we'd all strongly prefer. But we came here for the picks, so no complaints. ... OK, few complaints.
6:22 p.m. -- And we're arguing about Ezekiel Elliott flashing midriff in his NFL Draft attire. I think it's hilarious, and it improves my grade on him. Todd Gurley didn't display such humor and marketing awareness in his entree. Apparently some of my coworkers are more "traditional."
6:26 p.m. -- You might remember Joey Bosa from such bands as Color Me Badd.
6:30 p.m. -- And the boys are making fun of me for misspelling S-K-A-N-E-A-T-E-L-E-S initially. It's cool. They're allowed. I'm the frickin' grammar police around here. (And yeah, that's AP style for "frickin'.")
6:47 p.m. -- ESPN Scouts Inc. says Cardinals RB David Johnson is the best comp for Ezekiel Elliott. Perhaps they've spent more time drinking out of the goblet than I have. I like Johnson, but he's not as good as Elliott.
6:54 p.m. -- Andy's mocking the crew for favoring healthy foods: "I've never met an 80-year-old vegetarian." He didn't score at all in Wiffle ball today.
7:13 p.m. -- OOHH!! A Chris Berman-Roger Goodell conversation! How fun! Let's start with "Deflategate," the most interesting of long-running sports controversies.
7:17 p.m. -- Has Berman finally physically outgrown his ego?
7:19 p.m. -- "Let's talk about the Pro Bowl." Actually, let's not. An all-star football game is never going to be a "quality game," Commish. Maybe have all the Pro-Bowlers out for a skills competition. I'd be much more inclined to watch that.
7:23 p.m. -- (Producer): "Quick, kneel down in front of Laremy Tunsil and give me a shot of both nostrils."
7:26 p.m. -- Andy and I just teamed up to butcher Bill Murray's Dalai Lama quote from "Caddyshack." So we've got that going for us, which is nice. That's team building right there.
7:27 p.m. -- Lenny wants a 1-minute clock for the 1st pick. No one disagrees.
7:28 p.m. -- Louis Riddick just tried to pass the baton to Jon Gruden but caught him grinding on his thumb nail.
7:32 p.m. -- Steaks are ready and smelling awesome. You probably won't hear from me for a bit.
7:35 p.m. -- But what about Eli Apple's cooking skills?!?!? (I can't skip the intros.)
7:36 p.m. -- Wait, go back to Kevin Dodd. I'm trying to see the hidden picture in his jacket!
7:37 p.m. -- If I'm Myles Jack, I'm taking the stage on crutches.
7:38 p.m. -- A'Shawn Robinson will show you to your seat. The movie's about to start.
7:39 p.m. -- "Hi guys. Carson Wentz. Sorry, I had to rush here from a budget meeting."
7:57 p.m. -- Get better, Mort.
7:58 p.m. -- Shefter says Myles Jack won't go in the top 10. That'll be interesting to watch. Teams drafting outside the top 10 should hope he's right.
8:02 p.m. -- ESPN's NFL Draft intro dragged on almost as long as Kevin Costner's "Draft Day."
8:05 p.m. -- Commissioner Goodell managed to avoid slipping up and saying "St. Louis." That'll improve his scouting report.
8:08 p.m. -- If Gruden is "leary" of trading up for a QB in this draft, then you know it's a shaky move. As an Eagles fan ... I'm just waiting to throw batteries at something.
8:10 p.m. -- Anyone else feel sorry for Jared Goff not being quite as handsome as his older brother, Ryan Gosling?
8:13 p.m. -- Please, give the L.A. Rams some time. They just found out they're on the clock.
8:15 p.m. -- Goodell's still getting booed. And Jared Goff ... finally ... officially goes 1st in the draft. Good luck playing QB without WRs.
8:16 p.m. -- By the way, make sure to check out our Shark Bites page for actual fantasy analysis on these guys. Smo-fo will be manning that spot with updates on the offensive guys. I'll handle the IDPs.
8:21 p.m. -- I just Googled images for "North Dakota QB" and got this picture of Edwin McCain as the first non-Carson Wentz pic.
8:22 p.m. -- First surprise pick, y'all: Eagles take Wentz. Also, Gruden appears to think that the Eagles have more than 1 Chase Daniel.
8:27 p.m. -- Current question on the DS deck: Will a 4th QB go in the 1st round? Smo-house has challenged Collier to a 6-pack bet. Jared's going with 4. Andy's pondering.
8:30 p.m. -- Joey Bosa goes 3rd to the Chargers, surprising those of us on the deck. We'll see if his new teammates make him fix his facial hair.
8:35 p.m. -- Gruden needs to step up his hair game if he's going to sit next to Mel Kiper Jr. all night.
8:38 p.m. -- And Ezekiel Elliott just jumped into the 1st round of your fantasy football draft.
8:39 p.m. -- The only question here on the DS deck is whether we'll draft Elliott or his abs earlier.
8:41 p.m. -- So, which Cowboys RB will be looking for a new job this summer: Alfred Morris, Darren McFadden or Lance Dunbar. I say Dunbar, but I think Smo-torboat would sign him if he comes free.
8:45 p.m. -- The Jaguars nab Jalen Ramsey, who can do everything except intercept passes.
8:52 p.m. -- So the rumors about Ronnie Stanley passing Laremy Tunsil were true. Unless he was always ahead of Tunsil and we're all making this s*** up. Frankly, the latter seems closer to the truth.
8:55 p.m. -- I have to admit ... I get a little aroused every time C.J. Prosise video comes on.
8:56 p.m. -- Smola tells us that Jags GM Dave Caldwell says Ramsey will play CB. ESPN tells us that Laremy Tunsil's Twitter account might have been hacked before it showed us someone smoking pot through a gas mask.
8:59 p.m. -- DeForest Buckner goes to the Niners, who were apparently "desperate" for him. Chip Kelly says big people beat up little people, which is funnier when you look at Kelly's height.
9:05 p.m. -- It's official, folks. You smoke pot through a gas mask, you fall behind a white boy on NFL draft boards. The whole league appears to be suffering from Tunsil-itis.
9:06 p.m. -- (That's a joke, by the way. Race shouldn't play any role in anyone's pick.)
9:10 p.m. -- The Browns are killin' it so far, and they haven't even made a pick yet. It's tough to argue with the Bucs for trading down 2 spots.
9:15 p.m. -- With the Chicago Bears on the click ... here is every resident from the GREAT CITY OF CHICAGO.
9:16 p.m. -- Smola called the Bears taking Floyd after they leaped over the Giants. We'll see if it pays off.
9:22 p.m. -- Andy clapped as the Giants got announced as having their pick in. He said something I can't reproduce after Goodell announced Eli Apple as the pick. I'm chuckling.
9:23 p.m. -- Smola's quick to point out that Apple had "a interception" last season.
9:24 p.m. -- Thank goodness Apple landed in the NYC area, where he can order whatever kind of food he wants. Cuz we all learned that he can't cook for ...
9:29 p.m. -- Kevdog and Smo-key Bear pegged Vernon Hargreaves as the Bucs' pick. I just wish Hargreaves had put his ponytail on the right side of his head when he was getting ready.
9:37 p.m. -- The Saints pass over Laremy Tunsil as well to draft DL Sheldon Rankins. Tunsil's agent tells us that he takes responsibility for the pot pic being him but that it wasn't recent. All kidding aside, the whole situation begs the question: Does it matter that your new OT smoked pot at some point in college?
9:43 p.m. -- Kevin just dropped his 1st cuss word of the week -- in a good way -- after the Dolphins landed Tunsil at 13. Tunsil-itis on the DS deck, in a good way.
9:50 p.m. -- Oakland goes Karl Joseph, to the surprise of everyone on the deck. Andy's quite disappointed that the Raiders didn't pair Myles Jack with Khalil Mack on the edges. He's just calling "Mack and Jack?!?" He might be broken.
9:57 p.m. -- Corey Coleman becomes the first wideout drafted. Smola's cussing about him going to Cleveland. I'm much more OK with him teaming up with Robert Griffin.
10:00 p.m. -- I might be talking Smoh-no into liking Coleman-to-Cleveland after all.
10:01 p.m. -- Jared called Decker to the Lions as well, a couple of days ago.
10:07 p.m. -- The Falcons pass on all the LBs we're mentioning for a safety. They still need serious help at LB.
10:08 p.m. -- I was about to write up the Shark Bite on Keanu Neal to the Falcons ... but then I watched him slow dance with Goodell on the stage. That was uncomfortable.
10:19 p.m. -- My colleagues can't let Elliott's midriff go. I'm gonna tuck my shirt in the rest of this week. Oh yeah, and the Bills just drafted a very solid edge guy in Shaq Lawson. His shoulder might be an issue. Or it might not.
10:29 p.m. -- Please let the Texans take Will Fuller so that Josh Doctson and Laquon Treadwell go to better teams.
10:32 p.m. -- Thank you, Texans. We'll see if Fuller can develop, but I'm quite comfy with avoiding him in dynasty drafts.
10:37 p.m. -- We don't know how to react to Josh Doctson joining Washington. Good player. OK landing spot. But DeSean Jackson and Pierre Garcon stand as the starters. I would like to see him push Garcon aside immediately. At least as a fantasy owner. As an Eagles fan, I would like to see Washington waste a season of Doctson by plying him as their 3rd wideout.
10:46 p.m. -- The pick we all expected ... (as the crowd continues to boo the commish) ... Treadwell joins 1 of the league's most run-heavy offenses. Smola and I are now arguing about whether Treadwell and Doctson remain ahead of the next RB in dynasty rookie draft rankings.
10:50 p.m. -- The Godfather, by the way, is doing a tremendous job of keeping the fire roaring. Cuz it ain't warm on the deck here in upstate N.Y. in April.
10:58 p.m. -- Smola's absolutely tickled to see Denver trade up to Seattle's spot, which he projected the Broncos to do for Paxton Lynch. I haven't seen him this excited since the latest Eric Church album dropped.
10:59 p.m. -- Lenny, meanwhile, is inconsolable over his Steelers drafting Artie Burns, because he's a "project."
11:03 p.m. -- It's Lynch. And he's sporting the Guy Fawkes facial hair.
11:11 p.m. -- The crowd seems too tired to boo Goodell at this point. Jared asks who's in to share the Game of Thrones brew from Ommegang. I am. Oh yeah, and the Packers drafted some big fella from out west.
11:17 p.m. -- The Niners have traded up for a 2nd pick in Round 1. Is it a QB? The boys didn't lock in a bet on 4 going ...
11:18 p.m. -- Bwahahahaha ... it's some guard from Stanford. Cool. How big is he? 6'5 315? Well, big people beat up little people. Watch out little people. Unless you care about winning in football.
11:25 p.m. -- Why not take a shot on Robert Nkemdiche at this point. This is a fun story on him. How relevant it is depends on your perception.
11:34 p.m. -- Carolina makes the entire crowd deliver a collective "Oh, OK" by drafting DT Vernon Butler.
11:41 p.m. -- And Seattle closes out the night by taking the most boring player possible: a guard/tackle. Who cares what his name is?
Thanks very much for joining us tonight. We'll continue coverage of the NFL Draft through the next 2 days.